Blondes Have More Fun
by Jewelieishness
Summary: [Oneshot][In response to Suzu's fic challenge]...Maria doesn't really discriminate against nonblondes. She just doesn't like Izuru. Let's not tell her that, shall we? [Rated for some sexual activity, girlxgirl warning.][LuciaxMariaxCoco threesome]


**Author's Notes: So sorry that it took me that long, Suzu-chan--! I promise you lots of crack and suggestiveness. -Nod.- I can't do much smut, though, because for femmeslash, I prefer cute fluff and not hardcore adult...May I beg for forgiveness? -Puppy eyes.-**

**...Or, you know, as a redeeming present, I'll give you UST!Izuru. xD**

**Also, this follows the anime, so Kaito's twin is 'Gaito', not 'Gakuto' or 'Gackto' as Del Rey romanized it...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mermaid Melody.**

* * *

**Blondes Have More Fun**

* * *

"She looks like a whore," Izuru sniffed, pompous and full of herself. 

Eriru snarled viciously. "Any of us could _school_ her in a beauty contest _any day_."

Tossing her pale green hair, Yuuri nodded. Dark expressions were on the faces of the three Dark Lovers watching the Mermaid Princess.

Maria sighed. "Will you please stop talking smack about anyone who isn't one of us or Gaito-sama? I really like her pigtails. The way she has swirly locks wrapping around them, mingling in an eternal dance, only separated by hair gel and mousse--!"

"Well, you've obviously been spending too much time with a poet," Yuuri smirked briefly. "You're right, though, those are pretty pigtails."

Eriru and Izuru reluctantly mumbled their agreement; Princess Lucia's hair was a nice shade of blonde, after all.

* * *

"She looks even more like a whore than the first one," Eriru commented happily, waving her hands and babbling on about the weather. 

Yuuri snickered. "And she's _dumb_, too. Way to go, blondie, encourage those stereotypes..."

After watching the eldest Mermaid Princess declare that she would go on a quest to find a love match for the solemn, slightly scary deep blue-haired princess next to her, Izuru couldn't help but add on to the diss-fest.

Maria simply thought that Coco's thoughtfulness was cute.

* * *

This was absolutely insane. 

"_Hahanaru ai no Symphony_!!" The pink princess sang, bringing Maria to her limit. "Love Shower Pitch! Would you like an encore?"

The ice-controlling female took her hands off her crystallized ears, screeching indignantly - "That was so sappy and disgusting – you're a mermaid, born from a pearl, you have no mother! You make absolutely _no _sense, I don't believe I was just trounced by you...I swear, I will get you back!" - and promptly teleporting away, much thanks to Gaito, who gave her that power.

"..." Lucia stared at the empty spot where Maria had just been and silently resolved to write a new character song.

Not because she liked the _suiyou_, of course, because she just felt like songwriting.

_Really_.

* * *

"Do you even have a character song?" Maria asked rather obnoxiously, twirling a lock of pale blonde hair around her ghostly pale finger. 

Coco noted that this particular Dark Lover _really_ needed to get more sunlight, though her light coloring did make her pretty blue eyes stand out...

Back to the matter at hand. "Um...well, Mermaid Princesses have to write their own character songs. Songwriting is kind of hard...and I _can_ do it, by the way, before you open your big trap...it's just that I can't really convey myself into words." The words were punctuated with a satisfied nod – that was short, concise, and ever-so-subtly spiritual. That was sure to shut Maria up...she'd be far too impressed to do anything about it.

Maria cupped her own cheek with her left hand daintily. "Ah...I think I understand what you mean. I don't write songs, but sometimes I scribble out my thoughts in a journal...it is hard to convey your thoughts into words, isn't it? But I do think you might be better at it..."

Mischievously, she smirked and nearly shattered the proximity between herself and the yellow princess. "Would you care to _teach_ me?"

Coco backed away slightly, cheeks steadily flushing, and hastily informed herself that _no, _the suggestive hint in Maria's tone was only imagined and_ not there at all.

* * *

_

Yuuri had suspected something when she saw the way Maria would strategically work it out so that she never had to attack the pink or yellow princesses...even more so when she noticed that Maria wasn't affected by Lucia's or Coco's songs at all.

But this was just..._wow._

She watched, slightly intrigued, as the Dark Lover closest to Gaito-sama quickly, greedily, and hungrily claimed Lucia's mouth and reached down the front of Coco's tank top...no doubt to perform some groping.

She was even more amazed as the Princesses returned the gestures, and added a little more to it...she could _swear _that Coco'd just pinched Lucia's ass.

* * *

The swift deck to her lower jaw was accompanied by a right hook to the stomach, and Maria keeled over, gasping for breath. 

"Why the Hell didn't you ask me to join?!" Izuru wailed angrily, continuing her abuse on the wall next to the injured Dark Lover.

Maria rolled her eyes; "You're not blonde," she stated simply, as if it explained everything.

"So _what_?" Izuru demanded incredulously. "You're discriminating against me because of my _hair color_?!"

"Sort of," Maria admitted. "After all, blondes have more fun."

* * *

**Owari

* * *

**

**I should really be shot for that. Ah well...R&R? It'll cheer me up :)**


End file.
